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8/19/2017

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Canyon

The air suffocated thought into fragmented syllables - floating particles swirled upward, slowly, softly deliberately at first, then fell loosely toward abounding green foliage of an immersed garden.  I pedaled faster.

Inspiration
song: I Found by Amber Run

Day 1:
Faith


Day 2: 
It was the second of four days as a volunteer youth leader at a summer camp with about 40 high school students. It was a place where each of us accepted a challenge to grow - to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually and for some, to grow through fear.    

The year had left the remnants of a heavy snow fall.  Rivers were flowing with abundance.  The tides were high, the water temperatures cold and currents fast. 

​For a week, I was one of a small group of leaders where our steps of faith were slippery through precipitous terrain.  Our group was divided in half to make our sheer number a little more manageable.  Our steps were carefully measured avoiding the pit-falls of poison oak, sharp rocks and sweeping currents.  The surroundings were beautiful. The trail was winding. My heart was open to the goodness of God's grace. 
We had to travel light
Some kids jumped from ledge to rock with little or no effort.  Some clung to rims searching for a make-shift scaffolding in order to secure their footing.  Some clung to fear making each step a monumental task but we were all in it together - making the journey. 

My pride stood in the balance.  At first, I was resolute in my determination to keep up with the group.  The rocks that were above the water provided a sense of security but as the trail continued, it was clear the journey would not be so easy. 

Canyoneering would require walking, swimming, jumping, leaping and clinging so we could not carry or wear anything that would restrict our mobility or slow our pace.  Sunglasses and a hat (if you didn't mind submerging them) and whatever you could fit in your zipped pockets. 

The guides packed a communal water-resilient knapsack with provisions of food and emergency items.  We had to travel light.  We had to travel fast.  In the first hour, I leapt from cliff to cliff loosing my footing and slamming my chin in a quick motion against rock and sediment; the thick red blood dribbling as a reminder of the courage it would take.  The crisp, current of iced water easing it's sting. 


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There were underwater caves that required bravery.  In what was called a birth-canal, brave souls jumped straight down a narrow shelf of rocks which launched them into a submerged opening.  There were times that it was easier to jump off a cliff in order to avoid the sheer climb or swim strong currents to avoid the trepidatious footing on wet rocks. Water snakes were commonplace which made a simple choice of being in water or on rock a personal preference; i chose the water in order to keep the pace. Sometimes my stomach skimming over jagged edges. 

The morning had been one of self-preservation but when we stopped, faith stepped in in order to loosen my grip of fear so that God could use me as an instrument of encouragement.
 

There was no escape from our circumstances.  The group needed each other in order to make it safely home.  With a communal breaking of bread, gulps of water and the warmth of the sun on heated rock, the group spread out to enjoy the feeling of rest. 

For most, it was an easy adventure.  Physical agility, peer-pressured stamina and personal athleticism were a natural map for success but this trip wasn't about the majority of the group, it was about one.  I could see by the slumped shoulders and pensive expression that there was nothing fun about this day for one young man.  I got up and moved closer to the ledge where he sat - alone.  In a quick conversation, it was evident firewalls and passwords were easier than these locks.  His physical frame reminded me of someone I knew in high school many years ago. 

I dismissed the image of someone else in order to understand the present but the nagging thought intruded my space in a way that only faith could speak.   


Sitting on the ledge, he was reluctant to talk to me so I left.  I quietly told another young man (our ministry leader) who stepped in where I could not.  I could see from a distance that his words were ones of encouragement.  As the young man straightened his slump, I smiled at God's provisions that day.  

A second thing happened.  A soft-spoken second young man came alongside him for the remainder of the day.  It was a tangible act that spoke of inclusion and value.  ... take one step here ... put your hand on this rock and pull yourself to this ledge and watch for the pitfalls here.  You can do this. I am right here with you!    

His voice was patient and kind; his words were so softly spoken, I could barely hear them but I stretched my attention toward the quiet. 

I spent the remainder of the day in the back of the line.  It was a tangible step on my part to not allow this young man to be last.  As I leapt from rock to rock early on, I reveled in the sense of community later in the day as I listened to their words about Job.  

Our guide began talking about Job and his position in God's eyes. 

Job is a tiny chapter in the Old Testament of the bible which is sandwiched between the book of Esther and the words of Psalms.  So few words written for a man with great depth of hope.  Job's character pleased God.

God needed Job not to be first in order to strengthen, deepen and articulate his journey and in the process, Job never gave up his faith.  God richly blessed him later in life. 



Sitting, exhausted from crawling, jumping, swimming and hanging on, each of us were called to find a place to spend time with God. 

It was there I discovered a beautiful garden of green in a bed of water.  It seemed so odd to see something exquisite but without soil.  It's roots washed with the presence of fresh moving water.  And, I too, felt refreshed. 


Canyoneering
As so often the case, I thought my faith journey was about being a leader with high school kids.  It was.  It wasn't.  It was about the vertical relationship with Christ.  Yes, I had reached out to other people as an expression of my faith but He wanted to work on the inside canyon of my soul through rock, water and current. 
 
  • That image of a high school boy from years ago is one of the reasons I spend time now as a volunteer youth leader.  God used someone else's pain in order for me to encourage men and women in faith. 
  • Three days after leaving this outdoor adventure, my adult daughter would go public for the first time in her being queer which ushered me into an LGBTQ community.  Over the weeks and months, it took every bit of that adventure trip where I pressed into the quiet in order to hear the softly spoken words 

 ... take one step here ... put your hand on this rock and pull yourself to this ledge and watch for the pitfalls here.  You can do this. I am right here with you! 
​

timbreNote

Risk takes courage.  I know.  I am scared too which is why I need Christ, trusting he is taking me through a jeep trail of discovery from the inside, out. 


May your faith leave you bold and courageous! 

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    A fellow point guard for the faith; a writer, deep thinker, music loving, jeep blazing ... follower of Jesus. 

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